Vow

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The following are the marriage vows I wrote to my ex-husband when I was 22.

When I wrote them, I didn't know what love was. I'm not sure I still do...But part of me thinks that I really wrote this to myself.

As much as I loved Bryce, I think I couldn't love him authentically because I didn't know how to speak this kind of love to myself.

In all of the chaos that we live in, somehow our paths met. And of the infinite choices that a person can make, we chose to be together. Today, we are choosing to be together for as long as we live. I know that fate did not bring us together, and I know that no single force made us destined for each other. A series of delightful and ill-fated events happened to us so that we had the opportunity to share in each other’s lives.

I had always known I loved you from the beginning. But the moment you let your walls down to let me in to the universe of your mind was when I knew loved you for everything that you are, everything that you were, and everything that you will be. It was almost as if the deeper I could see into your brilliant mind, the more I fell in love with you. And I still fall deeper in love with you every day the more I know you. I would not change a thing about the way we met, the paths we took, or where we are now. I am so excited for the life we will create together, and where our paths will take us. If we are eternally recurring, I would be eternally happy with my decision to have chosen to exist in this life by your side.

You have helped me become the better version of myself by showing me the things I did not want to admit. You give me praise when I deserve it and tell me I’m full of shit when you know I am lying to myself. You are patient with me when I am at my worst, and you are there to enjoy life with me when I am at my best. When I don’t know how to handle the stress that life can bear, you are always there to remind me what matters most in this life. Because of all the things that have happened to us, we have been able to learn from each other and continue to help each other grow. I will always be so thankful that the universe gave me the opportunity to find you in all of its indifference and chaos.

I promise we will always grow together. I promise we will always teach each other new things. I promise we will always learn to manage life as one. I promise we will always celebrate each other’s successes and learn from each other’s mistakes. I promise I will always make choices with you in my heart. I promise I will do everything I can to keep you by my side until we reach the end of our paths. You are my rock, my soul mate, my ride or die, my life. No matter how much we change as we get older, I will always love you for everything you are. 

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